I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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