What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Q: What do you do when the light burns out A: Just replace it with a bulb from a less used room

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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