What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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