Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy punched himself. He then said ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

thumb_up thumb_down

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops