How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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