Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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whats worse than one bee sting? two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings? the halocaust whats worse than the halocaust? three bee stings

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops