How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Why did the girl go to Jupiter? To get more stupider

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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