What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

Gay rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

sky silverstein

What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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