How do you stop a black man from spitting? People of all races and colours are quite within their right to spit on their own property whenever they wish. However if anyone spits on or near you, you could report him to the police, but don't expect to be taken seriously.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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How about that airline food?

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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