What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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There's an african american, a latino, and an asian man riding in the car, whos driving? Obciously one of the three

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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