Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Justin Bieber

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Q: What goes up but doesn't come down? A: Columbia

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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