Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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