What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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Get on the boat.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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