Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

A Christian and an Atheist are in a bar, the Christian turns to the Atheist and says "If you don't believe in god you will go to hell." The Atheist replies "Your Mom doesn't believe in god." And then turns around to order another drink.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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