Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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