How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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What did one jew say to the other? Hello.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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