A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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