What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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