knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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