Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was once a man who lived in a box.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

thumb_up thumb_down -8

hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Boys go to college to get more knowledge, girls go to Jupiter... Actually I lied, girls go to the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris, or a Tank? A: Chuck Norris, because his hidden fist in his chin gives him 3 fists to the tank's 0.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops