The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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