Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops