A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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A man died.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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where's mom I killed her

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops