What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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