What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops