Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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