Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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how do yopu punish helen keller? Ground her, just like you would with any other child.

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Why is Lewis hayphore gay Answer = because he sucked hos brother off #Cameron Hayphore

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How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops