Vagina Boob

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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What's worse than this That :(

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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