I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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