patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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A genie walks into a bar. The bartender asks for three wishes. The genie says "okay". The bartender says "I wish I was the richest person in the world." The genie says "okay." Then He woke up

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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