Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops