what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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