Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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