why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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knock knock come in

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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