What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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