Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk...

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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