When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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