How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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