What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops