What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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