Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops