Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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One, two, three, four and five

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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13 =B you just learned something

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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