Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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penis. nuff said.

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Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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