James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Tony Romo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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