What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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There were 50 koreans; half of them liked gangnam style but the other half didn't. Why didn't the other half like gangnam style? They were north koreans.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Pain Olympics.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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