Two muffins were in the oven...They were taken out after about 40 minutes, and then enjoyed by all.

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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A man went back in time and warned nobody about anything and pretended to be from the time he choose to go to and lived a happy life eventually finding a wife. He later found out he had a baby on the way, he named it after his great grandfather who was a war hero. He later found out that many years later his son had a son and they named it after his grandpa. He went to the hospital where he died just as his grandson had a baby and they named it after his father. The man died. End.

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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