Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Boys and girls, I only have a few seconds left, and I am going to take these few seconds and teach you.... the longest story in the Universe! You may think this show is all fun and games, but you are in school! And this is an educational program! And there will be a test! And you will be graded on that test! And that grade will go on your permanent record! And your permanent record will follow you around for the rest of your life!!! So, you better pay attention. It goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. 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All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." An

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Yo mamas so dumb she has to repeat the 10th grade...again.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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a blind man walks into a wall

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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