A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

One day I went to the shop and bought some milk. THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE turtle man came with me. YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE YE live action

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

"Knock knock" Come in!

Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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