What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

What's 1+1? 69.

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

Lindsay Lohan

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

womans rights...

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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