Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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your momma is so fat she has diabetes

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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