A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops