what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

Potassium? K.

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

Who's the fastest kid in AA

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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