What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops