Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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