What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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