Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

no

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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