Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -25

yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops