What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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